


For Jace

by Tidecaller



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood-centric, Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 20:24:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6343918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tidecaller/pseuds/Tidecaller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec and Clary are both taken hostage by Valentine, with a knife at their throats, and Valentine orders Jace to choose who will live and who will die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Jace

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt by drakamena on tumblr:" I have this idea for a scribble-doodle, where Alec and Clary are both taken hostage by Valentine, with a knife at their throats, and Valentine orders Jace to choose who will live and who will die. And Jace is absolutely torn about it - but Alec knows that Jace will choose Clary in the end; he just can’t bear to actually hear Jace say it out loud. So, Alec decides to take himself out of the equation, since he’s dead anyway, but this way, it will be his choice…"

 

One moment Alec was facing half a dozen Circle members coming at them, blades raised. He had his bow ready and was shooting at anyone in his line of sight. He could see Jace and Clary from the corner of his eyes, so close to one another, trying to fight off their own attackers.

They were overwhelmed, cornered.

The next thing he saw, more like heard, was Jace’s scream which sounded a lot like his name and then he felt a surge of excruciating pain in his right shoulder, followed by cold darkness and pain.

 _Alec!_ was still echoing in his mind when he finally surrendered into them.  

                       

**✡✡✡**

 

“I’m gonna kill you, you bastard!” someone shouted somewhere around him, his words dripping with hate.

“Oh Jace, you know as well as I do that you can’t”, another man responded and it sounded a bit strained, like he was smiling.

“Then I will!”

This time it was a female voice that shouted, with the same tone as the first man. He could hear her louder than the ones before, like he was slowly emerging from underwater.

Alec tried to move, only to find that impossible as he was met with an overwhelming amount of pain. He slightly opened his eyes to be met with cold dull light of a place that looked like a warehouse. He was lying on the ground and his instinct kept screaming at him _danger_ , so in spite of the burning in his shoulder, he tried to sit up and evaluate the situation.

“Sir, he’s awake” a man in his left that he hadn’t even noticed reported, and before he had time to fight back, he was seized by him with a seraph blade to his throat. Alec tried to break free, only to be harshly shaken by the rogue shadowhunter and have the blade brush his neck warningly. “ _Don’t_ ” the man warned him quietly.

“Alec!” he heard a familiar voice call and turned his head around.

 _Jace,_ was Alec’s first thought.

He and Clary were both kept hostage, with Valentine’s men on both of them, holding their ice blue blades against their throats as well, and Valentine himself standing across them with a satisfied look on his face.

“That’s perfect; now that your _parabatai_ is conscious we can get this over with” the Head of the Circle said, facing Jace. “You want to have someone in your life that you care about, fine; I understand it, son, but you have gone too soft. You’re _vulnerable_ ” he added, and nodded at his men.

Suddenly, the man who was holding him yanked him forward until he was right next to Clary, who was seething with rage directed at her father. But when she glanced at him, her eyes turned a bit softer and genuine concern took over her features.

“You okay?” she mouthed at him. He just nodded, having completely forgotten about his wound staining his shirt with blood.

“Jace, you can only care about one, it’s your choice who it will be, Clarissa, your _beloved_ sister, or Alec Lightwood, your _parabatai_. One will die and it’s up to you to decide that. If you don’t, I will kill them both” Valentine announced with a sly smile.

“No!” Jace immediately refused, with a bewildered look in his beautiful eyes.

Alec knew what it meant from that moment. Jace would have to choose or Valentine’s threat would be carried out with no hesitation, even though Clary was also his child. Alec knew this insane man didn’t love her as much as he loved Jace whom he had raised and meant for him to follow in his footsteps.  He was ready to kill either of them, or both.

And Jace would always choose Clary, no matter what. Alec didn’t even have to think about it, he knew it was the truth.

And it _hurt_.

Jace, his parabatai, his best friend, his lo—         

Alec stopped at that. He knew a long time ago that the blond man would never return his feelings for him, those forbidden, cursed feelings and thoughts. He’d never _love_ him like he loves Clary.

But Jace didn’t speak. He was just looking between the two of them, with panic and horror at the choice he had to make.

“I can’t—“Jace stuttered. He couldn’t continue though, he just kept shaking his head with desperation. “Please, don’t make me do this, I’ll do anything, I’ll—“

“You will choose or I will and it’s going to be both of them! Don’t make me regret giving you this option” Valentine cut him off, losing his patience.

“N—“ Jace started again, looking even more desperate than before.

“Jace” Clary whispered and shook her head. _Don’t do this_ , is what she meant.

Alec didn’t want to die, especially not like this, but he didn’t want Clary to die with him, he didn’t hate her that much. He always felt distaste at her, jealousy and sometimes anger, but he never wished she was _dead_. And Jace would never survive that.

He knew what would be done eventually, Jace would save _her_ , yet even though he understood; it always killed him to watch Jace prefer another instead of him, to always be Jace’s second choice. He couldn’t bear to actually watch him do that to Alec again.

He didn’t have to, not this time. He’d do it himself; if he’s dead then Jace wouldn’t have to choose anymore.

In the end, it’d be Alec’s decision, _his_ choice.

_For Jace._

“Jace, look at me” the raven-haired man murmured.

Jace locked eyes with Alec and saw it at once. “No, Alec _don’t_ ” he begged.

He hated when Jace was hurt, it was even worse than him being in pain. He had to stop it.

 “It’s alright, I’m dead anyways” Alec softly reassured him and gave him a sad, small smile.

The very next moment, to everyone’s surprise, Alec shoved his captor away with his elbow and twisted around to grab the man’s seraph blade slashing his throat a moment later. Then, he turned back to see Valentine right in front of him.

It was all over in a matter of milliseconds. He didn’t back away from the older man, just stared at him, waiting. It almost felt like eternity.

“Alec, NO!” he heard from the distance, a million miles away.

He watched Valentine fall. Then his own turn came and he slowly met the ground, soundly.

It was like he was underwater again, like his ears were buzzing. He felt the sharp pain cutting at his stomach. He reached at it and his trembling hand was met with hot red liquid.

“NO, Alec, what have you _done_? ALEC?” Jace was screaming at him, his eyes red and filled with tears. He tried to get a hold of him, get him up but then settled for moving his body to cover his, hands holding tight.

“I’ll get help, Jace! Stop the bleeding!” Clary was shouting until her voice faded into nothing. Jace didn’t seem to acknowledge her.

Alec closed his eyes, blinked a couple of times, and then stopped when he was met with Jace’s face.

Even in this moment, Alec could have sworn his parabatai was the most breathtaking person he’d ever seen.

“—look at me, hey, Alec “Jace’s voice softened when Alec met his gaze, even his mouth turned up a bit for a second.

“Jace” was all he could say before the taste of blood in his mouth overwhelmed him and he choked on it.

“Alec, please, don’t leave me, come on” the blond pleaded, now gently rocking him back and forth.

He knew he shouldn’t, but he almost felt happiness. Loved.

He managed a small smile and then took a last look at the man he gave his life for, always would.

He closed his eyes.

 

 


End file.
